Cheating is the one thing I have zero tolerance for. Most people have not experienced cheating either because they've been fortunate or blissfully ignorant. With the different opinions and advice out there it can be very confusing to find the best of solution, so I'm not going to be giving advice instead I'm going to be sharing experiences of women who have gone through this. We are going to learn a thing or two from their experiences and maybe learn from their mistakes.
Before we go into their experiences let's analyse why cheating is a very big deal in relationships, be it marriage or dating. As women we tend to feel more and are emotional creatures and the men folks know that. So we feel excruciating pains whenever we have to catch or suspect our man of cheating after sacrifices we've put into the relationship to make it work. Maintaining a good relationship is not a piece of cake. There should have been sacrifices from both partners, lots of tears, decisions, secrets shared between lovers and most of all trust. During the course of a relationship we have had to bend backwards a lot of times and bend rules that we had in place.
Every relationship have had their own challenges some which are peculiar and others which are specific. As individuals we all bring faults and flaws to our relationship and with love we try to strive a way forward despite these shortcomings. Most times the short comings are insignificant but could pile up over time and at other times the shortcomings are so infuriating we feel like bashing our heads on the wall and ending it all. No matter the shortcomings once we've fallen in love with our partner it breaks our heart to find him cheating.
I know that we sometimes feel like lying, stealing, gambling, drinking, smoking and doing drugs are also problem causers but we should try not to group them all together. They are different habits and each hurts as bad. Let's forget about the others and focus on the cheating at hand, there's time to talk about the others.
Different women have been put in a situation where they've suspected or caught their husbands cheating on them and despite the feelings being similar the way they handle it were different.
Diane who is a CEO of her personal business says the day she caught Anthony her boyfriend of over three years cheating on her, she held herself with pride and refused to share a single tears. She went to their shared apartment, collected all her belongings and crashed at a friends place for a few weeks before she got her own. She opened up on the fact that she missed Anthony badly and missed their shared moments and all but she could never be with a cheat as the trust was already broken. Anthony pleaded with her to forgive him and return back to the house but she refused even when he got her and engagement ring and wanted them to legalise their union. According to her his actions were all medicine after death.
Mrs Adebayo is a very vibrant woman from the west and is a full time housewife. She has four kids with her husband and they've been married for over fifteen years. The first time she caught her husband cheating he blamed her for it. His excuse was that they had gotten too used to each other and she had let herself go. He was repulsed by her fatness and he no longer found her appealing. She said she cried for weeks and made the decision to work on herself. During the children's holiday she shipped them all to vacate with her sister and started the keto lifestyle. She said she was so dedicated that she never cheated. She sincerely admitted she pushed too far with her exercises and had dizzy spells from the excessive starvation she underwent. She said she had to consume paracetamol to help with the pain which was excruciating for her because she did not ease into the exercises but rather plunged in. At the end of three weeks she had lost lot of weight and had more confidence. She informed me that she went shopping for new clothes as well. At the end of these sacrifices her husband still didn't stop cheating but she learnt to ignore his ways. She instead opened her own business, got healthier, focused on her self and her kids. I asked her how she is able to cope knowing her husband was out there cheating on her. She said she was not okay with it but there was nothing she could do.
Stephanie a married woman who has not been able to bear a child in her three years of marriage with her husband says it's was hell for her. Her husband brought his numerous girlfriends to spend the weekend at their matrimonial home and in their matrimonial bed all because he wanted children so badly. She informed me that she went to fertility clinics, churches and still no pregnancy. She almost ran mad with thinking, eating to get pregnant and taking vitamins. When her parents saw the hell she was living in they quickly came for her and returned her husband's bride price. She says it took her years to get herself together.
When she felt she was in a good head space she got into another relationship and within less than two months of dating she became pregnant. She has two kids now for her new husband and is ecstatic. She said her joy became complete when she discovered her ex husband still didn't have a child and noticed their childlessness was because of him. Wanting to know if she would have stuck to him knowing he was sterile, she replied; hell no! The way men treat their barren wives is pathetic. They are not considerate and quickly look for a selfish alternative to get a child.
Linda's response to her husband's cheating habits is typical to a vast majority of women whose spouses cheat. She says she has him monitored all the time, goes through his phone at every opportunity she has. And whenever she is informed that he has been sighted with a girl she and her sisters would go beat the hell out of the girl. Her story had me laughing because she confessed that some of the ladies she had beaten ended up being business colleagues or family members, but that didn't deter her because she doesn't trust her husband. When I enquired why she doesn't beat the husband instead of the different girls she told me it was because the girls knew he was married but still entered into a relationship with him. I asked her advice for women who wanted to follow her cause of action and her advice was; they should be prepared for war. She claims monitoring a cheating man was a full time job as they got clever after everytime you caught them. She says to never reveal your sources. Last last sha her husband still cheats and it breaks her heart but the only joy she has is that he has no rest of mind while cheating because he doesn't know when she and her beating squad will surface.
Bella a beauty and very intelligent lady informed me that she didn't wait to catch her boyfriend cheating before she broke it off. She said she began to suspect he was having an affair when he started lying and coming up with excuses about why they couldn't hang out as they used to. She claimed it would kill her to catch him cheating after all they've been through together, so she avoided that heartbreak. When he came begging her and swearing he wasn't cheating just busy with work she refused to have him back. Because a cheat is always a cheat, they just got clever at hiding it, she discloses.
A lot of women have tried different approaches, some have packed out of their matrimonial home leaving their children behind or taking them along. Some have forgiven cheating spouses and turn a blind eye to his escapades. Others have decided to cheat along with a cheating spouse to balance the equation. Most have committed suicide just because of cheating spouses. Some have contacted one sexually transmitted disease or infection from a cheating spouse. Some have gone as far as to kill a cheating spouse. No matter your situation or the approach you have chosen when it comes to dealing with a cheating spouse, just know that you are not alone.
Don't always blame yourself and your shortcomings for pushing him away. Beauty, domestication, wealth, affection, love and faithfully have not been able to keep some men from cheating. All I can tell you is that as humans we all have some bad habits and that we should strive to work on so we could be our best selves. Cheating spouses are rampant and you won't ever understand the mindset behind it, so don't try and don't go defending them either. Just do you and be you.
Bossethehi
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